Channeling Dolly Parton

For years I've invoked Dolly Parton as my very own Goddess of Courage. She's consistently modeled fearlessness and a fierce belief in herself over her long career in a male-dominated industry. While there are countless reasons to follow Dolly's lead, this story illustrates why she's my go-to inspiration when I feel small and stuck.

Drawing from Dolly's bold decision to turn down Elvis, I now ask myself regularly,
"If I say no, what am I saying yes to?"

This question prompts me to take on a longer term view, to open my mind to possibilities beyond what's right in front of me and most importantly, to consider my deepest values.

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When I Said "No"

​Here are three times in my life I followed Dolly's lead and said no to things that seemed impossible to reject.

1. Saying NO to an arranged marriage was a YES to choosing my own life partner. I honored my values of freedom and self-determination
2. Saying NO to a job working for Ray Kelly who had just finished his first stint as NYPD Commissioner was a YES to staying on the HR career path I had already established. I honored my values of authenticity and courage. (It was really hard to say NO to Ray Kelly!)
3. Saying NO to continuing as co-leader of Coaching for Transformation in NYC was a YES to fulfilling my potential. I honored my values of possibility and growth.

Your Turn To Say "No"

Identify three times in your life when you said no.

• What was that no allowing for?
• What values were guiding you?
• What can you say no to today?