As a coach, I ask a lot of questions with a very specific purpose: to get my clients to go beyond what they already know. My questions are an invitation to the unknown. Here are some of my favorites:
Sometimes clients are totally stumped by a question and sit in silence for a few moments. Other times they are able to articulate a bit of an answer before reverting back to what they already know. It goes something like this:
“If I had a magic wand, I’d have a more flexible schedule, but my boss would never go for that.”
Or, “With full confidence I would go back to school to get my nursing degree. The problem is I’m too old.”
Or, “I’m yearning to work with kids. That’s not realistic, though. I can’t give up everything and just start over.”
What theme do you notice here?
I see a theme of stopping, of cutting off possibility before it can fully be expressed, of throwing cold water on a tiny spark before it can turn into a flame.
Here’s why that is such a big deal:
Not expressing your desire = not exploring it = not planning for it = not acting on it = it never ever happens.
Try this exercise: